The Hazmatic Asthmatic and Her Entourage

Testing

2009-03-21T22:32:00.001-07:00

http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=p1n-q4dT1-INgebZXnmfCFg

TestingWord

2009-03-21T22:29:00.001-07:00

Testing

Testing.

2009-03-21T22:25:00.001-07:00

Testing.

Custom Clutch Giveaway!!!

2008-12-02T10:17:00.000-08:00

Check out this SUPER cute clutch Giveaway !

The perfect "real" vows.

2008-09-18T09:33:00.001-07:00

I'm pretty sure this is what Matt was really thinking when he said "I do". And if I may say so myself he has done a brilliant job so far! Love ya Mateo!

=)

Not sure where to blog about this.. but I need to get it out.

2008-09-10T12:17:00.000-07:00

I'm pissed... I have many moments that I feel like I'm failing as a wife.

If I were Matt, I would have left me by now. I have been such a pain in the ass, and sadly most of the time there is nothing I can do about it.

I have feelings I'm not sure are normal. Irrational thoughts cross my mind every hour. I'm annoyed by the drop of a pin.

I'm used to being the strong one. I'm not used to needing so much help. I struggle with depending on Matt. I trust him but then I feel out of control, losing my grip on the small control I have left in my life.

I'm blogging on *this side* because I don't think this is a pregnancy thing. This is a marriage thing.

Two partners struggling to find their balance in the midst of so much change. Making sure there are no gaps left behind, loving eachother all the while.

I'm not gonna lie. Being sick, not feeling like yourself. Waiting for that old self to come back. Its hard. It's rough.

9 months later, the old self may never come back. I have to hope that at the end of the day I WILL be a better person. I WILL learn from my mistakes. We WILL be a better couple for all we have learned & experienced.

One of my favs.

2008-08-11T14:19:00.000-07:00

Was going through my pics and found this one.. It's one of my favs taken by a guest at the wedding. I forget what I was laughing at. Probably all the kissy pictures they were making us do. Or the fact that it was 500 degrees outside but everyone standing around oohhing and aaawwing at us.

Almost a year

2008-08-06T07:59:00.000-07:00

Our lives never seem to be slowing down. Our one year anniversary is next Monday, and we almost forgot. Before we get to the actual anniversary I'd like to revisit our wedding day.

A month ago we went to LA and visited the site, The Mission Inn, where we got married.

(me under the Hotel sign)

It was nice to reminisce about all we experienced there. We hate to boast, but we think it was one of the most enjoyable weddings we have ever been. Not that we're biased at all.

We were really blessed to have our wedding at such a beautiful site, but more importantly we were blessed to have such amazing family and friends join us to make our day very special, creating wonderful memories.

And what would Michelle's wedding be without a little chaos and drama. Looking back, the drama was overshadowed by the overwhelming love and happiness. Our day could have been ruined, but no one let us dwell on the negative. And for that I am grateful.

The other two members of this entourage.

2008-07-09T13:02:00.001-07:00

Our oldest

Annie- Aka: Anakin Skywalker *from Star Wars*

We named her this because 1) we love star wars. 2) She has little bit of the dark side in her. (can't you see it in her eyes)

'

Our youngest
Socks- Aka- the most lovable cat ever but he hates to be picked up. Socks got his name because he is pretty much black all over but has white feet.

Say Cheese kitty cats!!!! You know you love me!

A whole stadium and NO running water...

2008-06-10T14:42:00.000-07:00

Sunday was the big Kenny Chesney concert at AT&T park. I took my mom and some of her friends for her birthday to re-live the concert we went to over 7 years ago.

We sat in the perfect location. About 10 rows up in (what I assume is) left field. The day was filled with lots of people watching.

The show started around 4 p.m. Performing (in this order) was Luke Brian, Gary Allen, Leann Rimes, Brooks & Dunn & Kenny Chesney. I am not really sure why but the picture on the side of the stage (a slutty cartoon pirate girl) really bothered me. Now if the girl had been real, I probably wouldn't have been so bothered, but because she was an "avatar" looking slut...I dunno what do you think?

I wasn't really looking forward to Leann Rimes, but I was surprisingly impressed. She has a great voice on the radio, and even better in person.

She has this cute little body and had lots of energy. She bounced around the stage for over 30 minutes in what looked like 4 inch heels. Way to go Leann. You kicked ass!

Before Brooks & Dunn, a Kenny Chesney look-a-like came out. Of course at the time everyone thought it was Kenny. He was waving, and even came down into the crowd pretty close to us, to sign autographs.

The crowd really went nuts. At the time, I thought how cool, he is really trying to connect with the fans. Well turns out it was an impostor. The next day it was reported that the guy was arrested for forging Kenny Chesney's signature. Here is my attempt to capture a shot of the impostor in action. (Can you see everyone pointing?)

Next up was Brooks & Dunn. They really know how to put on a show. I missed about 2 songs because I was on a mission to find a bathroom with a line not longer than 30 minutes.

I don't know if I was more impressed with my new camera's ability to take great pictures at night or the light show.. Here are a couple pics:

And finally Kenny arrived!!!! (and the fans went CRAZY!!!!)

Somewhere between Brooks & Dunn and Kenney Chesney, the water stopped working in the women's restrooms. Eventually they turned off all the water to the entire park. Apparently there was a huge back up in the sewage system. The ladies room toilets turned into disgusting Porto-potty but still with real toilets. The entire situation was disgusting and obviously against all public health codes. We were all ready to write a letter to AT&T park's mgmt but as we walked out the streets were filled with Wet-Building recovery crews and massive roto-rooter trucks already maneuvering pumps into the sewers. Obviously something went really wrong.

An hour later we were all at home, grateful to have toilet paper, an empty toilet, soap and running water near by.

Can't wait for summer to really hit.

2008-06-05T11:18:00.000-07:00

Looking forward to hanging out at the pool this summer.

Looking forward to family Vegas trip.

Looking forward to spending time with DH.

Looking forward to hanging out at 9pm and it still being light out.

Looking forward to fireworks.

Looking forward to the fall.

Lots of stuff coming up, and I just can't wait!

June already??

2008-06-03T12:57:00.000-07:00

Holy crap, it is really June?? When the hell did that happen?

Sex and The City

2008-06-03T12:45:00.000-07:00

If you haven't seen it, I HIGHLY recommend doing so.

I think what made the movie even better was the experience that came along with it. 4 of us when to Havana (delicious Cuban food & mojitos) before the movie, then headed over to the theatre to stand in what we expected was a a pretty long line. Little did we know that we would be accompanied by women wearing prom dresses, dresses that were supposed to be shirts, come f*ck me heels, hats, and even Tu-tu's. It was quite a scene. And in my opinion, really quite hilarious.

All *we* needed was a little bit of alcohol and good company. Getting seats proved harder than it sounded. After some minor cursing (at ourselves and others), we found the perfect seats.

My favorite part (tiny spoiler but not that big): Honestly I love Miranda and Steve's relationship. The things that happened to them REALLY do happen. People get caught up with life, trying to be the best parent you can be, and being the best worker you can be, and the best friend you can be, sometimes you forget about being the best wife you can be. You think you are surviving, but really thats all you are doing: Just barely surviving. And to get back on track, one just doesn't wake up one day and say "lets make this work ... and it does". It take a lot of hard work, and most likely some kind of counseling.

The bridge scene.. oh you bet your ass I was in full blown tears.

It was a ton of fun, most of all I enjoyed hangin out with my friends and sharing the movie with them. It was a very EXCITING night.

1 Full Coors Light, 1 Empty Licorice Package & Half a Bag of M&M's

2008-05-28T14:09:00.000-07:00

Yup. That's what Matt found in his backpack after I used it for Bay2Breakers.

Good times.

Breathing is Required in Our Household

2008-05-28T08:44:00.000-07:00

I subscribed to some blogs recently on asthma (most written by health professionals, nurses, Dr's, respiratory therapists etc.) and found this article.

"If you want a healthy baby, you should be healthy. It is very important to treat asthma in pregnancy because the risks of uncontrolled asthma in pregnancy are greater than the risks of asthma medicine."

"Many women experience worsening asthma symptoms as they stop using asthma medicine due to the fear of side effects on the unborn child. Women who stop their asthma medicine have worsened asthma symptoms and are more at risk of early labor and poor growth of baby. Asthma medicine and pregnancy:Visit your doctor soon after realizing that you are pregnant to discuss about the best way to manage the symptoms of asthma with asthma medicine. The doctor will prescribe effective asthma medicine during pregnancy and continue to workout throughout your pregnancy to ensure the treatment is effective without side effects"

http://asthma-info4all.blogspot.com/2008/05/effects-of-asthma-medicine-on-pregnancy.html

::

Yeah, I have that fear. But the reality is, IF you are pregnant then it is MUCH safer to go with meds than without them. Slow-growth really does happen. (see miscarriage#1)

But what about before you are pregnant?? Where's the risk-cost-analysis then? The one thing I have learned from my two miscarriages, is that I want to BE healthy before getting pregnant. I strive to have symptom free days, weeks, months. But what really qualifies one has "healthy"? Since going on my allergy meds, I have been symptom free. Does that make me "healthy"?

::

Matt and I were talking the other night after we listened to someone explain why they weren't taking their meds while pregnant. Matt questioned why? We talked about the difference between a full-fledged attack vs. casual wheezing. What does it mean to only take in 95% oxygen? How do you prevent that? How much oxygen do you really lose when it takes 25 minutes to get the hospital? And really what can an attack (of any size) do to a baby?

This is my biggest fear. As healthy as I can make myself, as much preventative medicine I can take, I just never know if it's good enough to prevent the next attack.

I am glad that he gets it. He understands : BREATHING IS REQUIRED in our household.

Snowing in Tahoe

2008-05-23T06:54:00.000-07:00

I love it.

Its Memorial Day weekend and its SNOWING.... thats right you heard me snowing in Tahoe.

I remember the last time its snowed Memorial Day weekend. I was heading from Reno off to a weekend trip to Rosarito, Mexico with my best friends. It didn't snow much in Reno but it was cold enough for it to stick to the ground. On the way to the airport I was wearing a sweatshirt, my uggs and a scarf. I had to keep telling myself... only xx more hours till you will on a warm beach with a beer in hand.

(sigh) Good memories.

p.s. I don't think we made it down to the beach once. We were way to busy focusing on the beer.

Yesssssssssssss! (arm pump)

2008-05-22T18:36:00.001-07:00

Matt officially has Sunday's off!

WOOOHOOO!

I heart Matt's new boss! He told Matt he thought it was important that he have at least one day off with his wife..... awwww.

Apparently Asthma is the new Pink..

2008-05-22T14:23:00.000-07:00

(jumps onto high horse)

I hate how generalized a diagnosis of Asthma can be. Its always been a pet-peeve of mine.

Patient #1 - (cough.. cough... cough) It MUST be Asthma.
Patient #2- (sneeze, sniffle... cough) ... Must be asthma...
Patient #3- "I feel a tightness in my chest, Dr what could it be" .... Looks like you Must have asthma!!

Are you really telling me that EVERYONE has asthma?? Has it really reached epidemic proportions? If so shouldn't we be putting more research around medicine development and awareness?

Breathing is a very serious thing. We really shouldn't take it so lightly.

(Jumps Down from High Horse)

Our household humor.

2008-05-19T17:03:00.002-07:00

(phone rings)
Me: Hello?

Matt: Hey Michelle.. are they back together yet??

Me: What??? Who? Who's back together... (names off couple we know that are seperated)

Matt: No not them..(pause) your butt cheeks??

This was the phone call that took place at 5:02 pm this afternoon, about 15 minutes after I had a "moment" when my mom was giving away some of the the baby items she bought for my nephew to a co-worker. Now you may not think this humor is particularly funny, but right at that moment it was excatly what I needed and I personally thought was HILARIOUS!!!!!

Bay to Breakers 2008

2008-05-19T07:08:00.000-07:00

We made it!!!... well we made it to Mile 5.

Yesterday was the 97th annual race Bay to Breakers. I joined about 60,000 other people in a race from Embarcadro to the Pacific Ocean. Amongst my friends & I, were some pretty freakin hilarious get-ups. Some of my personal favorites that I would like to highlight were the The superhero "Super Delegates"and The ladies from the polygamist compound Wives #1-10 & of course the Gymnastics float which had real bars and all.

In the spirit of the event we started the day off by popping open a champagne bottle on Bart for some yummy mimosas. As strange as that may sound, compared to the groups who boarded Bart with a shopping cart and a keg... we were pretty tame. Getting off Embarcadero, backpacks armed with Coors Light, we were hit in the first 2 minutes with our first nude couple.

We made it just in time to see the first few tortillas drop back to the ground. After we found my sister-in-law and posse, we began our way through the 7-mile stretch. Unfortunately trying to keep track of 10+ (and two different groups) is just to dang hard in all the madness. Thank god for cell-phones because ended up losing quite a few people frequently.

By Hayes Street, we had already made multiple restrooms stops, purchased 2 additional six packs, and lost my sister-in-law's group. The trek up to the crest of Hayes Street Hill, is really insane. Imagine the best block party you ever went to in college but quadruple the people, triple the alcohol & music and then take away about half of the clothing... that's really the only way I can describe the experience. Its incredibly hard to believe that even in all this chaos, its all quite organized and everyone is getting along and just having a great time.

When we reached Golden Gate and looked at our clocks we realized that there was no way were going to finish by 2pm. We still had 2 miles to go and the crowd was moving quite slow. Not to mention we were at our peak of alcohol consumption, and were on the downward spiral to being cranky drunk tired girls. We made the executive decision to head back the direction to Bart and hopefully find some food along the way.

Luckily for us Haight & Ashbury provided us the perfect rest stop location. After only walking a few blocks , not only were we able to find more alcohol (oh yeah and food), but as a bonus there was still plenty of entertainment. After filling our stomach's we made our long trip back to the East Bay, with only minor headaches and a few sore limbs. Can't wait for next years race!

(more pics of us to come!)

Lazy Saturday Mornings..

2008-05-17T11:19:00.000-07:00

I am not one of those who can sleep in until 10.. 11 or 12.. I promptly wake up almost every day around 6-7am. But this wakened state doesn't necessarily make me more productive than any person who sleeps in. One of my favorite things to do is to just RELAX, lounge and do absoultely NOTHING!!! I love it.

p.s. If you haven't watched A Time to Kill.. I recommend it. Its pretty damn good and pretty moving. And NOT just because Matthew Mcconaughey is in it!

But lets post a pic of him anyways :-)

C'mon now.. He looks so damn good... you just see right past those god-awful board shorts. I love a man with a surfboard in hand. (sigh)

BLEH!!!

2008-05-15T12:47:00.001-07:00

I am just having one of those days.

Inside I feel pretty good. Boot camp has been going great and I am already seeing results.

Even my hair, make-up and dress all look good but my brain.. is just fried!!

So much stuff going on at work. I can't believe it's almost June. My boss was talking about how we are almost half way through the year and its just CRAZINESS!!!

One project I wish it would just be done but so many delays..

One project I am just a little overwhelmed with the responsibility.

One project is SUPER boring but I gotta get it done.

And a bunch of other little tasks here and there are slowly slipping through the cracks.

So what do they do.... GIVE ME MORE!!

**I LOVE MY JOB***** I LOVE MY JOB**** I LOVE MY JOB***** I LOVE MY JOB****

I shouldn't even be on here because I have so much to do but I just needed to go somewhere and say....

BLEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

pnly 5 hours till a VERY FUN-FILLED WEEKEND

Catch up from this weekend!

2008-05-13T10:10:00.000-07:00

First off Happy Mother's Day!!! While this is a bittersweet holiday for me, this year I really tried to stay positive & focus on having a fun family BBQ. A friend of mine, did send me a sweet note wishing me a Happy Mother's Day and it really touched me. While most might think Mother's Day comments would make me sad, I actually appreciate the recognition.

Here is a pic of me and MY mom from last summer. People say we kinda look a like. What do you think?

So I guess I am going in backwards order.

Saturday was "Los Coleman's Diez de Mayo Party (in honor of Cinco de May)". I think the pictures speak for themselves. We had a BLAST!!!!!

Our Gracious Hosts!

Friday I had dinner with the gals at CPK (yum) & went to see Made of Honor. ummm I don't recommend it. Personally it wasn't worth the $10 you have to pay now to see a movie. I mean its cute... BUT completely predicatable.

Hope you had a great weekend. And to all you out there.. Happy Mother's Day!

Loving These!

2008-05-13T10:04:00.001-07:00

Banana Republic 'Faustine' platform sandal for $159

See Picture to Right

2008-05-01T18:03:00.000-07:00

I was just having a (sigh) I love my Husband moment. I was thinking about how silly we are together. There was a post on the Nest Board today about "When did you know your husband was the "one" ?" and I couldn't even bring myself to respond to the post.

So I thought I might try here. Honestly I don't know when it was I fell in love with my husband. Together we have fallen in love & broken eachothers hearts, we have been eachothers best friends, and our worst enemies, we have fought like cats and dogs and yet can make eachother laugh so hard we puke. I know it sounds "cliche" but we truly have gone through so much in our short 9 yrs that we have been dating (on and off), we now say "is that all you got?" when the something bad is thrown our way. We no longer think we already hit rock bottom, because WE KNOW.. things can ALWAYS get worse.

What I do know, is that there isn't another person in this world that I would rather share all of my pain, suffering, joy, happiness and love with. My husband makes me WANT to be a better person, someone who is more understanding, has better patience, is more loving, can see the positive in things, who listens better.

So when did I know Matt was the one?? I guess I have known since day one. I just can't picture this life, my life, my world, OUR world without him in it, he just makes it so much more interesting... who'd want to live in a world with out him.

So see that picture to the right.. that is a daily occurence, I have about a million photos like that. I am privileged to share (that picture and this blog) with you, what is a very small glimpse into our world.

Exhausted

2008-05-01T08:54:00.000-07:00

The last two nights I have been asleep by 8:50 and then still sleeping until 5:50. I usually go to sleep around 10-11 and wake up around 5. So I am not sure what is going on. I am sitting at my desk and am still exhuasted.

I'll blame it on the period.

Money, Money, Money

2008-04-29T16:31:00.000-07:00

I feel like our lives revolve around money. It seems that everything is so expensive these days, and before we take one step forward we have to think about how much is this gonna cost us? Sunday I went to the movies, and it cost freaking $8.25 for a Sunday Matinee. Doesn't that seem a little ridiculous??? I have recently been searching for a sofa. I told Matt that before any baby comes, it will be a requirement to get a new sofa. I hate our sofa. Loathe it. Despite it. But when I shop and look at new sofas I can't justify spending $800+ when we have a perfecly functional sofa already.

Sometimes I just feel very materialistic. We are BLESSED. We have a roof over our heads, daily access to food, so much that according to Kaiser I am "overweight", clothes, health care, jobs, cars, family, health and happiness. But yet I am still able to nit-pick at all the little things I don't have or would like to have.

I get very jealous that some people have so much, but then I look at their lives and see how wasteful it can be.

This is just me, venting. I wish money grew on trees. Then anyone could have a new sofa, if they really wanted it.

For a Moment, the Fever Was Gone.

2008-04-28T14:42:00.000-07:00

After an emotionally disturbing day last week (which I refuse to re-visit or blog about) I actually had a pretty decent weekend. Sadly Matt had to work so I hung out with friends at a birthday party, went to the movies, slept in and ended it all with a nice BBQ.

Sunday, as I was driving home, do you know what I realized? I hadn't thought about having a baby or getting pregnant in over 24 hours. For a moment, I was just enjoying life as I knew it: a wife, friend, girl, beer drinker. When I talked about upcoming vacations and weekend get-away I didn't even think to hesitate to plan drinking events, or things I might not want to do pregnant. I actually didn't talk at all about getting pregnant.

And you know what? It was kinda nice.

For me I think this is the final chapter of my journey through miscarriage #2. I no longer have an overwhelming need to get pregnant. This month's negative HPT didn't even change my mood. I just calmly looked at it and said ok, it wasn't meant for this month. Not that we were trying or anything ;-)

I guess my point is that I don't know what is gonna happen next month or the month after that, and for right now I am perfectly OK with that.

My husband cracks me up.

2008-04-23T08:55:00.000-07:00

Matt and I talking about our past weekend.

Me: How great is it to finally have some real live friends?

Matt: As opposed to the fake blow up doll ones we used to have?

Livermore Wine Tasting

2008-04-11T09:36:00.000-07:00

This past weekend the NorCal Nest board had a winetasting event out in Livermore. We originally thought we were gonna make it to 4 wineries but we only made it to 3.

First we went to Concannon. I have to admit that I wasn't thrilled about going there, in the past I haven't really enjoyed their wines. But I have to say it really wasn't that bad. I was pleasantly suprised that I almost bought a bottle myself. The tasting was $5 and they gave each of us a free wine glass. Not to shabby in my opinion and worth the $5.

Next we headed to Rios Lovell. Lucklily one of the girls was a member so we got a discount. I was looking forward to this winery because I had heard great things. When we got there and I looked at the "flight" I gasped... 12 tastings in 1 flight... oh great I thought. I am gonna be toasted after we leave this place. I think 5-7 tastings really is enough. I was so bombarded by the wine I didn't even know which one he was pouring. I like a couple of the tastings but like I said I couldn't even tell you which ones. The really nice thing about this place is they have a great picnic area. Everyone brought wonderful food and wine and we had a great time just sitting and chatting.

Last we decided to head to Wente. Getting there was quite amusing as a couple of us got lost (ahem I won't mention who but it wasn't my car) :-) I have to highly recommend Wente, although I (and we) might be a little biased. A couple of girls had gotten married there, one had her engagement dinner there, and Matt proposed to me at Wente, so the 4 of us keep it near to our hearts.

When we arrived it was very crowded but fortunately we found a spot where the 12 of us could stand.. near the bar. We started with the "free" flight. Yuck. I kinda suspected this was how it was gonna work. A couple of us decided to throw down the extra 10 bucks for the better tasting and (sigh) it was so worth it. I have to highly recommend the one called "contraste".. YUM!

A little after 4 we headed home, I took a nice 2 hour nap in bed and cuddled with Matt. It was a nice way to end a weekend.

Lowering my standards for breathing.

2008-04-10T08:03:00.001-07:00

Tuesday night my asthma got pretty bad. I was having asthma attacks about every 30 minutes, and while they only last about 5-8 minutes, nothing was helping them. I must have taken my inhaler at least once an hour. I sat in the shower for steam, drank something warm and soothing, and in the end nothing was working. So Matt talked me into going to the ER. I really hate going unless its really bad. I mean this wasn't the worst I have ever been, but I knew better to go now around 10pm then go at 2 am.

I guess my standard for breathing has been lowered because when I got there my peak flow was in the 200's. For normal average women my age, my height, my weight the standard is supposed to be 500. Ha! I showed them.. I got 280. Again not my worst so I really didn't think the situation was that dire. I told Matt the worst I had ever been was 110 (when I was in the hospital for 10 days). The nurse told me if I am ever below 500 I need to be seen by a Dr. I laughed... 500?? Lady you couldn't get me to blow 500 if you paid me! I have never gotten over 450. Ever. So what does Matt do, oh yeah totally shows me up. When the nurse left the room he tried the peak flow: f*cker got 650. Damn him and his healthy bronchial tubes!

They gave me a couple of breathing treatments and a burst of prednisone (my evil nemesis). Brought my peak flow up to 410. This was satifactory to me, the Dr, Matt but not the nurse. She said I wasn't blowing hard enough and I could do better. My seething eyes looked at her and screamed blow this bitch! I blame it on those damn steroids.. they make me so moody :)

::

Since I already had an appointment to see Dr. P wednesday, I decided that would be my follow up to the ER visit. Of course I show up late. I was really scared Dr. P would want me back on steroids or even worse weekly allergy corticosteroid shots, sending me back months of work trying to get OFF the steroids.

I must have been on edge because the nurse who checked me was really getting on my nerves. Before Dr.P came in I had the pleasure of hearing her life story. Finally Dr.P arrived and made me start on some breathing tests. Ordered the nurse to sit with while I endured another breathing treatment and monitor. I guess she thought this was my first time being diagnosed with allergies and asthma because she gave me the "how to prevent this from happening again" speech. Fortunately for her my mouth was full with the breathing appartus, otherwise she would have gotten quite a mouthfull herself from me.

Dr. P came back in and we talked. This is the one thing I love about Dr.P he lets me talk and hear what I think I want to do. I explained that I thought this was solely allergy induced asthma. I didn't think I need to up the steroids for the asthma but find a way to treat the allergies. I also explained to him our TTC plans, and how this was a bit upsetting, as I thought it was a major set back.

While we were on the same page he came back with QUITE the opposite. His thoughts are:
1. I am actually handling my asthma quite well until one of the following happens-

Allergies flare up
Cold/Flu
Extreme Stress (but even this I am getting MUCH better at)

Since these are things that are pretty much out of my hands, my asthma is actually getting better! (1 point for me!)

2. I have proven that I can maintain my asthma and take the necessary preventative measures before it gets even worse. He even thinks I do a great job at self-medicating by adjusting my meds and taking OTC meds. (I'll take another point please!)

3. He believes I need to have a nebulizer in my own home. This will be vital while pregnant and will limit my trips to the ER/Urgent Care. I used to have one but its so old I didn't work. Best part... He got it for FREE!!!! (1 point for the Dr.P for having the hookup; 1 point for futture m&mbabies)

4. During the allergy season he has prescribed me a nasal steroid. I did some research, its not the same kind as other steroids and has no effect on pregnancy. He believes that I start to take this about a month before the allergy season starts next year then I should go symptom free. (1 point for any future m&mbabies)

5. Dr. P gave the go ahead to start TTC. We are planning for the fall so he would like me to do monthly checkups until then. (1 point for Dr.P, 1 point for me, 1 point for future m&mbabies)

Overall it was a damn pretty good day. I feel like I definitely made lemonade out of "lemon" situation. .

(damn that was a long post)

Its that time of the year.

2008-04-08T08:17:00.000-07:00

My allergies are acting up and driving me crazy! I woke up this morning out of breath, coughing desperately reaching for my inhaler. During these months I keep my inhaler near me at all times. I think Matt is finally starting to get the routine. Purse.. check. Wallet.. check. Cell phone..check... Inhaler.. double check (we keep one in the car and one on me at all times, ya' know just in case)

So what does this mean for me? A trip to see Dr. B. Usually I dread these appointments because I think they will try and dope me up with some kind of nasty corticosteroid shot that "cures" me of my allergies. But Dr. B knows where I stand on those evil meds and will do everything else for me before giving me a shot.

This season will be my test. If I pass I can safely move on to TTC in the fall.

I will have to make sure I study hard and pick up my Asthma for Dummies cheat book this weekend.

Pollen Forecast for Dublin= Med-High
Predominant Pollen: Mullberry, Oak & Ash (all things michelle is allergic too)
Wed is expected to go up!! WTF?

Tagged

2008-03-25T08:00:00.000-07:00

I have been tagged by Wishing for My Miracle today. Here are the rules:

A. Link to the person’s blog who tagged you. That would be Wishing for My Miracle
B. Post these rules on your blog.
C. List seven random and/or weird facts about yourself.
D. Go on to tag other blogers by leaving a comment on their blog that they have been tagged!

1. I can swallow multiple pills at a time. Not just and size pills but pretty big ones. I have done 2 of those 800 mg Ibprofuen at once before.

2. I love art. Anything really but specifically I love to draw, paint, sketch with multiple tools. I also love to use clay and mold things. I am pretty good on the wheel (like the one in Ghost). When my Aunt was alive she owned 2 of her own Ceramic Kilns and taught me how to shape, mold, glaze and paint things.

3. When I get tired I will rub my eyes and ruin whatever is on my face, including any eye makeup. I rub them usually until I fall asleep. Then if I was wearing makeup I will wake up with huge dark circles of make up around my eyes. Matt says I am gonna have bags under my eyes when I get older and regret it.

4. I love to sing opera, but am a HORRIBLE singer. You can catch me singing Phantom in the shower at least once a week. I also make weird noises at random times. I did this a few weeks ago by mistake in front of my brother in law. It was hilarious but embarrasing!

5. I like to put maple syrup on my eggs, like directly on eggs. My uncle taught me that when I was little and it just stuck. I know its disgusting. Here's one for ya: Honey on your pizza... YUM!!

6. I like to use the word like. I know it makes me sound like a valley girl but it was just very popular during my teen years (Clueless had just come out). But yet its such a good midway word to describe something. I know for a fact my mother just cringes when she hears me use the word.

7. I swear this one isn't true but according to Matt, my mom and my brother:

Whenever I answer no... it ends with a sounds... like noooooaahh. They make fun of me for it. They say I sound like a whiney little 2 yr old. I personally don't hear it.

Easter

2008-03-25T07:39:00.000-07:00

I had a pretty good Easter, as well a pretty good weekend.

In the morning Matt & I went to the Oakland Zoo with my mom, brother and nephew. At first Matt was really against going to the zoo, since every Easter before he had always gone to a huge brunch. But we wanted to do something that was active and wasn't revolved around food since we had big food plans in the afternoon. My mom got to see giraffes (she's a huge fan) and my nephew got to touch sheep, so all in all it was a pretty decent experience for a great price.

When we got back we headed over to my sister in law's house (waving "Hi" to Jen!). The food she served was delicious!! The menu consisted of:

pork chops glazed in a teriyaki (kind of) sauce
Green beans with Blue Cheese *yum*
Red Potatoes with Leeks and onion tossed in olive oil.
Salad with pears, glazed pecans, apple crisps

Somehow during the middle of all that delicious food we played a game of xBox 360's Scene It? and watched The Bee Movie. My 4yr. old nephew was laughing throughout the movie, and I have to say it was pretty good.

All in all not too bad for an Easter Sunday. Good times, Good food. Good drinks. Great family.

::

Here is a picture of me and my 13 mo. old niece T hangin out on Easter. Can you tell she was having a blast??

sshhhh!! Don't tell anyone!

2008-03-24T08:03:00.000-07:00

Matt and I talked and we decided we are going to start trying to conceive after our big vacation trip this year. We haven't quite figured out the logistics but we are going to Hawaii some time between Sept-Dec.

Last Saturday Matt informed me that he thought it would be great if we got pregnant in in the fall and the baby was born around his & his mom's birthday (July 11). It was cute and made me tear up. I didn't think he thought about things like that.

So we talked and came up with a tentative plan about months we can try and months we will just see what happens. I am really excited about it.

But for now this can be our little secret, you, me & the world of online bloggers.

::

Update- After I posted above I got this warm fuzzy feeling inside. It will be an exciting time in our lives and I am happy to start planning.

BUT then I realized that means I need to get my ass in gear and get healthy. And that ladies & gentlemen is easier said then done.

My asthma is doing well. I am currently on the lowest dose of steroids I have been on in over a year . When I was sick for 29 days, it didn't affect my asthma at all (like normal cold/flu's do). I made sure to stay in contact with my Dr, and not once while I was sick did I have to up my asthma meds. I feel like this is really good progress but is it enough??

So I made an appt with my Dr to come in and talk about these very exciting changes in our "timeline" of plans. We shall see what he says.

Nest girls take on Kareoke!!

2008-03-22T22:51:00.000-07:00

Matt and I had blast meeting up with some friends for Kareoke! Too bad we didn't take a picture later because this is from the beginning of the evening.

And now I know why people call me a dork..

2008-03-21T18:22:00.000-07:00

Today I was supposed to meet a friend for lunch in Walnut Creek. I thought she had sent me the address to the restaurant but I couldn't find the email. So I googled: Primo's in Walnut Creek. It came back with xxx abc street, Walnut Creek. I wrote the address down, put it into my navigation when I got into the car and off I went.

As I am heading on the freeway, I look at the direction list and am a little confused. I could have sworn it would be "downtown" walnut creek but the navigation is taking me a little further past that. My friend lives near there so I figured it would be ok. I get there and its a bank!???! I am completely confused. I look at the address, look at the building its the same...

I think oh no... the address I had must have been old. I start googling on my phone, and searching my navigation for Primo's but can't find anything. I unfortunately do not have my friend's phone number with me, so I start calling people I know who know the area. Either they don't answer or they have no clue. I call 411- No listing for Primo's in WC?!! WTF!!!

I am now on the verge of tears: frustrated that my friend will think I am standing them up and that I am lost in Walnut Creek. So I ask Matt what I should do, and he convinces me just to start heading home and email my friend. Well fortunately I did have their email on my blackberry so I sit in a random parking lot and start typing away.. apologizing profusely.

Well about 3 minutes later I get a call from her husband. He got the email and tells me where it is. Only 1.2 miles away from where I am. At this point I would have been 45+ minutes late. I get back on the road and hit construction. It takes me 25 minutes to go 1.2 miles. I decide just to take a chance that she might be there, but alas she wasn't.

I am feeling very mopey and decide that I deserve a crepe @ Crepes-a-Go-Go. (yum ) I finish my crepe and head home. As soon as I step a foot into the house, my phone rings. Its my friend. Laughing hysterically at me. We start talking and figure out where I went wrong:

The restaurant was called Prima's not Primo's.

-------------------------------------

Welcome Non-Nesties!

2008-03-21T10:09:00.000-07:00

This blog was inspired by the blogs of my friends on the The Nor Cal Nest Board who write such amazing blogs. I was truly inspired by their honesty and jealous that they had a forum that allowed them freely "talk" about whatever the hell they wanted. Thats when I started the Hazmatic Asthmatic blog. I wanted to test the waters before I shared with my family and friends IRL. For one, I wasn't sure what I would even blog about.

And now in the last few weeks it has become SOOO addicting. Most of them know about me & "the nest" (the greatest online community ever!) but didn't know I blogged. Well I decided it was time to come out of the closet.

So Hello!!! (waving) to Cassandra, Jen & Diana and welcome to my online world. Hope you enjoy!

Blood Pressure Scare

2008-03-21T10:08:00.000-07:00

I thought this was important enough to share.

So Matt had gone to the Dr a lil over a month ago because he was sick with the flu, and the Dr. said he had extremely high blood pressure. It was so high she wanted to see him again for more testing and possibly put him on medication. So after a month of completely changing his eating habits, working out consistently, and educating himself on nutrition and blood pressure risk factors, we went back to the Dr to test his blood pressure again. His results came back completely within the normal range and he has lost 23 lbs. The Dr. congratulated him on taking the appropriate steps to lower his blood pressure and was very happy to not have put him on any medication.

We both know that the road doesn't end here, but we are very committed to changing our eating habits and living a healthier lifestyle. I had a very proud moment when Matt was packing his lunch yesterday and it included a turkey sandwich with no mayoinnaise, carrots, an apricot & a banana.

Busy Little Worker Bee Equals Better Mood?

2008-03-20T15:11:00.000-07:00

For the last month or so I have been feeling a little bit funky about my current job. Really its great pay, great opportunities, great benefits, great team... BUT it's just not my passion. And its not like there is nothing else that I am passionate about.. there is TONS of stuff I am really really passionate about. Those jobs just don't pay as well or require a degree that I do not have. So I tend to get really bored at my job (hence so much nesting & blogging) and then get discouraged.

And then this week hits.. and boom I have 2 new prospective projects that I *might* lead on and am getting bomboarded with emails and requests. As I sit here frantically emailing away.. I realized wow this is the best mood I have been in at work in awhile, and start thinking to myself.. I could really see myself doing this.

Weird.
-------------------------------------
On the same note but completely opposite end: I enrolled in Summer Classes at the local community college. I am not sure what I am going to take but I need to get this party started and finish school already. I mean damn.. I have 108 freakin credits and no degree...

This is how a 4 yr plan turns into a 5 yr plan and then morphs into a 10 yr plan! Such is life.

How does a trip to the hair salon, make me feel SOO good?

2008-03-20T09:22:00.000-07:00

Because I come out looking like a hottie, thats why!!! Just wait a couple of days because I may never be able to style it like they did at the salon.

After much contemplation, planning, and a little error, this is my NEW hair do? I personally love it! Its the shortest I have ever gone.

I darkened the top a little bit to cover the old highlights, then colored some peek-a-boo red pieces around the front and in the bangs and cut it into an A-line bob!

oh p.s. this is me in my office, nesting & blogging away! oh wait I mean working. :-)

Am I really that depressing??

2008-03-19T15:28:00.000-07:00

I know this blog is here for me to vent, let it all out & do what I need to do to get my head on straight, but as I was reading my posts, it sounds like I am a total Debbie Downer.

So here is a good one for you.

We are getting back loads of money on our tax refund this. Like close to $6,000 I am really excited!! That means:
all debt will be paid off
we get to meet with a financial analyst to put aside some of it and actually start saving money (who would have thunk)
and **********drum roll please********

We are going to Hawaii this year!!

Yay! We are so excited since neither of us have ever been. It will be lots of fun! It is also huge incentive for me to start losing weight again. I mean major weight. My current weight is 159 and I want to get down to 145. I lost a ton of weight last year for the wedding so its exciting to just continue right on losing!

So I will start tracking that as well in this blog.
Totally doable by September (when we are thinking of taking the trip)

What can I say.. its THAT time of the month.

2008-03-19T13:30:00.000-07:00

Every month, before my period is supposed to show, I start to freak out:"omg, I think I am pregnant!" Not for any sane reason: I have no symptoms and we are not even trying for that matter.Currently we are not using and form of hormonal birth control, so it could happen. I decided to come off the birth control because of My Experience With Implanon. For now we use barrier methods.

But even when I was on birth control, I still got this feeling of OMG, my period is late.. What if I'm pregnant?!?! How great would that be?! - which is usually followed by a frantic trip to the dollar store, peeing on a stick and the results coming back negative- and then the rest of the day is spent wallowing in self-pity.

It took me a year to get over this painful cycle of tormenting myself after my first m/c and then just when I thought I was over it, I got pregnant. I wonder how long it will take this time.

And yes,I know my chances are greater of it happening without the hormonal birth control and if I didn't want to get pregnant then I should be more careful. But lets be honest, a little part of me really wants to be pregnant and have a baby in my arms to call my own.

For the most part I can shut that part down, but every month it creeps up just enough to turn me into a crazy-need-to-pee-on-a-stick-NOW lady!

Coming out of the closet.

2008-03-18T08:25:00.000-07:00

On July 12, 2007 I realized my period was late. I took 4 HPT's and finally a digital to confirm that I was indeed pregnant. This would be my 2nd pregnancy, 1st child. We were ectstatic but very nervous! I called my Dr. who congratulated me, but wanted me to come in because I was having some spotting and had previously miscarried.

July 16th - 1st ultra sound (Hello Transvaginal scans!) Showed nothing. Too early to see anything. According to Dr. my due date was March 18, 20008. First Beta confirmed pregnancy.

July 18th - 2nd Beta doubled.

July 23rd - Light spotting and mild cramping

July 24th - U/S: No heart rate, bleeding within the sac. Dr. believes I am heading towards miscarriage. Orders Beta.

July 25th- Beta numbers are low.

July 31st- Dr. orders D&C after he confirms I had not passed fetal material.

August 7th- Appt for D&C. Dr refuses to surgery because of my medical history under sedation (asthma) and current breathing state.

August 10th- 2nd appt for D&C. Nurse convinces Dr. to do surgery but will not put me out.

August 18th- We get married and my brother's girlfriend gives birth to my nephew.

I woke up today to my alarm telling me it was my due date. I had forgotten I set an appt on my outlook calendar. Oops, silly me. What was I thinking?

My new game: Whack-A-Mole

2008-03-17T11:15:00.000-07:00

I feel like I am constantly going through shit and am turning into such a debbie downer. When do "things" or life get easier. As soon as I get a handle on one thing, something else pops up. I am constantly playing whack-a-mole. You know that game where the little mole looking thing keeps popping up in different holes and you try to whack it as many times as possible but can never get all them.

Shouldn't I get a prize for whacking as many moles as I possibly can?

29 Days Later..

2008-03-16T11:22:00.000-07:00

And Matt and I both are FINALLY NOT SICK!!!

It started the week after Valentine's Day, Matt came down with strep, bronchitis & a cold. All in one week. Fortunately I did not catch the strep. But what I did catch, was the flu/cold from hell!

I would start to feel better, and then bam! I would wake up the next morning with a raging sore throat. Then Matt would get it, and then I would get it again. Somewhere in the middle of all this we decided that we wouldn't kiss and/or have sex until it was all clear because our "sick" kept going back and forth between the two of us..

Did I think it was gonna last 29 days!??.. Hell no!! Our poor Dr's. I must have called every day asking "isn't there anything else beside rest that will get rid of this???? We need to have sex!!!"

Phew... I am so RELIEVED its over.

I miss my husband!

2008-02-29T11:21:00.000-08:00

Enough said.

Please kick me off my high horse.

2008-02-27T12:09:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I listened to my co-worker tell me about their diabetes woes and how they can't lose any weight. As the day progressed I watched him drinnk 4 sodas, eat fried food for lunch, snack on cheetos and then pick up some skittles for the ride home. This morning I came in to find him with 2 donuts for what he called breakfast. And then after 1 hour of getting into our project, we break and and he comes back with another donut and a soda. 2 hours later he checks his diabetes stats (in front of me) and doesn't like his results.

Why aren't you losing weight?? Maybe because you have HORRIBLE eating habits.

(stepping down from soap box)

What one does while bored in Houston:

2008-02-26T18:24:00.000-08:00

1. Shop
2. Eat
3. Clean out emails
4. Catch up on Nest
5. Order wedding pictures and album
6. Search for deals for Vegas trip in July
7. Catch up on blog. :-)

Is it weird that I am on a business trip and nothing in my list has anything to do with work?

Is it 6 months already?

2008-02-05T09:54:00.000-08:00

We got married August 18, 2007 meaning in 13 days we will hit our 6 month anniversary. Wow that went fast. I know, I know, its only 6 months but still it feels like it was yesterday.

This reminds me I really need to order our wedding pics & album.

And then things get better....

2008-02-04T17:19:00.000-08:00

The last two weeks have just flown by. Lets rewind to Thursday Jan 24th. I go to the Dr's office because I think I am having some asthma problems. In the back of my mind I know my symptoms are not related at all but I am DEFINITELY not feeling right.

Dr. agrees: Diagnosis: anxiety & stress & weight gain (21 lbs in 2 1/2 mos to be exact [GASP!])

Hmmmmm what could M possibly have anxiety &/or be stressed over??? maybe the weight gain?? Well really that could take up a whole 'nother post so I will just do that and Post another topic to dive a little deeper into that topic.

Dr. also thinks I should have my birth control Implant removed. It's side effects may be causing my stress & weight gain but just in case decides to take a crap load of blood anyways. Ok make the appt for the next day.

Fast foward to the worst haircut of my life. I walk out of the salon feeling shitty and fat.

Fast forward to an awkward Dr's appt to remove my birth control implant. The Dr. contintues to tell me the side effects I am experiencing aren't that bad and I am going to regret my decision. I'm sorry but what is the point of birth control if its side effects make you not want to have sex !!

Fastfoward 6 days later.. Hormone Free and Loving it! Already lost 5 lbs. Most ailments gone.

Fastforward to Feb 1st.. I find the perfect Ob/gyn! He listens to me rant/ramble and then when I disagree with him .. he doesn't judge me for it! WHAT !??! I didn't know Dr.'s like this existed. I walk out of the Dr's office feeling great and guess what another lb down!

hmmmm wonder what's next?? the lottery? ;-)

My experience with Implanon

2008-02-04T17:17:00.000-08:00

** I am in no way claiming to be an expert here and only offer my experience with this drug, for professional advice and opinions please see your Dr**

Implanon Birth Control Insterted September 9th into my left arm.
** cycle- starts on 1st day of period. I included spotting days. A normal cycle for me is 7 (with spotting days)

September
No symptoms.
Arm where implant was inserted is sore for 2 days (at the most) heals fine.

October
Cycle- normal

November
Mood swings during period
Cycle- lasted15 days

December
Notice weight gain (work out 3X/week)
Mood swings begin to worsen during period.
Slight depression (this is what my Dr. called it)
Cycle- lasted 14 days.

January
Noticeable weight gain (change diet and begin working out more)
Mood swings last all month.
Notice depression daily as well as anxiety.
Cycles lasts 15 days.
remove implant on January 25th

February (hormone free)
lost 6 lbs as of Feb 4th
Moods have become increasingly better.
Haven't cried in over a week.

Overall I think its a great idea if you can take the hormones.

My Attempt at Butternut Squash Soup

2008-01-19T22:04:00.000-08:00

I signed up for a CSA (community supported agriculture) a few weeks ago and now get a fresh box of organic veggies and fruit from a local farm delivered to my door step. It's awesome. This week I got some of the following:

Baby Boc Choy
Butternut Squash
Pears
Apples
Red Mustard Leaves
Carrots

and a few other goodies.

So I attempted to make a Butternut Squash soup from a recommended recipe from the farm. It turned out ok. I think it had too many onions but I wanted to follow the recipe for the first time. It will be good to eat this week for lunch, I froze some in a ziploc bag and plan to take it to work. Here's the recipe

1 1/2 tbsp of butter
1 tbsp olive oil
2 cups of chopped onions
2 tbsp of oregano
(sautee above ingredients in a big pot )
4 cups of cubed butternut squash
1 tbsp of hard salt
(add above to pot once onion is soft and cook for 6 minutes)
1 garlic clove minced
(add above and stir for one minute)
5 cups of Chickent stock
(add and bring to boil then simmer and cover til squash is soft)

Blend everything (in a blender) in small portions and then return to heat.

It was pretty simple. But made a mess. Tomorrow it will be Halibut and Boc Choy stir fry. Yummy!

Lunch, Lingerie and Bugaboos

2008-01-19T17:00:00.000-08:00

Today I went to Tomatina for lunch with a friend. Its great to finally be able to say that. I have friends in my hometown and where I went to college, but since I have moved to Northern California, I have had a hard time making friends. Its not that people here aren't nice or friendly, I just had a hard time fitting in. Where I live a lot of people are already at the "family stage" i.e. Homeowners, early 30's, 1 or more kids, setttled. Or there is the other end i.e. partying on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, dating or not but definitely not close to marriage, and even farther away from TTC. We needed friends somewhere in the middle at our stage. I tried befriending randomn co-workers but as vast as the Bay Area is, most didn't live near us, making it difficult to hang out. Who knew it took so much effort to make friends!

And then I found the Nor Cal Nest Board. What an awesome group of ladies. I eventually started going to get-togethers and have clicked with a lot of the girls, and now I feel like I am making friends.

So today my new found friend went to Tomatina for lunch, shopped around Walnut Creek, lurked in a fancy shmancy lingerie store and got introduced to the Bugaboo. Yes I will admit it, I have baby fever. But we are waiting for awhile to start TTC. I am amazed by some of the things they have available today, and now I can add the Bugaboo to that list. What an awesome stroller. The sales clerk did a lil' demo for us and I was convinced I needed one. :-)

So I just wanted to give a shout out to my new found friend. Thanks for hanging out with me. It was so great to sit and chat with you. I really appreciate you letting me rant about whatever I needed to rant about. I hope we get to do it again soon! (not the ranting, but maybe you can introudce me to the Moby and we can look at fancy jeans)
~m

1st Blog, 1st Post

2008-01-18T20:49:00.000-08:00

So blogging is a little new to me. I have definitely read a lot of posts, but never actually written one. I guess I was always a little bit chicken to put my thoughts in writing. But here it goes...

Welcome to M & M's blog!

Part of my New Year's resolution was to start volunteering. While we may not feel like we have much at times, I know that we have so much more than others out there. So I decided it was time to start giving back to the community even if it was in small ways. Today I completed my training for volunteering at a womens shelter helping with the children of domestic violence. I don't think I realized what I was really getting into until I started signing my life away on confidentiality forms. I am really excited and nervous about starting but I think it will be a great experience for me.

On another note, this blog will be a way for me to post my thoughts and emotions about my asthma. I was diagnosed at 2 yrs old with Chronic Asthma. They told my mom by 6 it would go away. They told me I would "grow out of it" by 12, 16, 21 and now 30. I have been hospitalized 4 times in my life for my asthma. I couldn't even tell you how many times I have visited the ER. I take daily steroids, carry an emergency inhaler and have a portable nebulizer.

Now contrary to what it sounds like, for the most part my asthma is controlled with daily medications. I was a competitive gymnast for many years and currently workout/run daily. But yet every year something will happen and I will land myself back in the ER. The last trip was in Nov 07. So I try to manage and control it the best of my ability but most of the time I feel like a walking pharmacy.

These are my current thoughts: Will I ever be med free? What if I pass this on to my kids? Not the worst thing in the world but what there's is worse than mine? How will my body take to pregnancy? What about the meds I am on? What can they do to a fetus? What if it gets worse during pregnancy?

Some words that I came across when googled asthma, my meds and pregnancy that scared the living shit out of me: uterine hemorrhage, growth retardation, toxemia, cleft lip and palate and overall premature birth weight (because of loss of oxygen during asthma attacks)

ughhh.. So I made an appt with my Dr. since I don't think my googleMD really qualifies me to diagnose me doomed. We (Doc and I) had discussed before my ER visit a year long plan to come of my meds so we will see where Nov's lil' adventure landed me.

WOW! For a first post this was really long. Sorry. Thanks for stopping by!

~m&m

"We are shaped and fashioned by what we love" Johann Wolfgang von Goethe